meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
