Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
