My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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