so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
