YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
