At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
