I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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