Your mouth is God's brothel.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I deserve this hangover.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
