just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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