I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize