addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
