But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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