We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
