Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize