maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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