How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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