i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
