And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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