Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
