jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
