The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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