love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize