Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
