david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
