This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize