We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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