a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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