she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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