batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
