you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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