YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
