His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So much rum. So many feels.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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