I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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