no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
