and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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