chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
