drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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