Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
