Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let's get the cat blown out
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize