she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
