He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
