Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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