i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
