The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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