she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
