that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
