You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize