hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
