i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I have post one night stand depression
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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