Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
