He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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