whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
