I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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