Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
