People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
