I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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