i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
