I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
